Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Happy Birthday to my twins!

Nine years ago today, two beautiful baby girls were born at 1:35 and 1:37 am. I had developed HELLP Syndrome (a severe form of toxemia); my blood pressure had risen to dangerous levels and my liver had begun to shut down. I was taken in for an emergency c-section and had to be completely anesthetized because they feared my body wouldn't handle it.

I remember waking from the anesthetic and asking Robb about how the babies were doing. He told me that Soccer Girl weighed 4lbs 1oz and that he had gotten to see her for a minute before she was taken downstairs to the NICU. Then he told me that Ballerina weighed 3lbs and had been taken straight to the NICU in an oxygen tent. I immediately feared I would never get to raise Ballerina, that she wasn't going to make it - that she was just too tiny.

I waited anxiously all day to see the girls while Robb's mom and stepdad and my mom all came and got to go with Robb to the NICU. They each would come back to my room with news of how well the girls seemed to be doing, especially Ballerina. It still didn't ease my fears for her future.

Finally at 10pm, the nurse came to get me and take me down to the NICU. They got my protective gown on me in my wheelchair and wheeled me in. First we went to Ballerina. She was already in an isolette. She was SO TINY! I couldn't imagine holding her; she just looked so frail. The nurse explained to me that she had already graduated off the c-pap and was able to breathe on her own in the isolette, which made me extremely happy.

 Then we went to Soccer Girl. She was a little bigger but was still hooked up to the c-pap and with all the tubes and wires attached to her, she looked even more frail than Ballerina did. I was able to reach up to touch her little leg which was only as big around as my index finger. I still tear up when I think of how fragile my little girls were.


Fast forward to today. I have 2 gorgeous 9 year olds who run around, play sports, dance, and do all the things 9 year old girls do. Soccer Girl loves soccer and is a little mama to Sassy Pants.
Ballerina is my ballerina and will read anything she can get her hands on.
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